על התדרדרות בצבא
אז כן, אני זוכרת שהבלוג הזה קיים.. מדי פעם אני חושבת לעצמי, וואלה, אולי אני אחדש אותו? בד"כ המחשבה העוקבת היא "בעצם, לא..", אבל הפעם החלטתי שכן. חפרתי קצת.
:)
In light of Yom Kippur and the new year and all that jazz... I was thinking about where my service has taken me as a person. Or where it takes people in general.
ok, I'm going to DIG in a big way, but whatever, I'm really just writing for me :)
When people talk about the army, or rather, religious girls joining the IDF as their national service, many say it's not a good idea. The army is basically a downhill slope, you're around people who lead a different lifestyle.. Things that are taboo become ok... You have to take orders from boys... wear pants... But you know what, if you know who you are and what your limits are, the army is just like any framework you're going to meet in life. A girl can do plenty of stupid things no matter where she is. That's not where the slope is. (Yeah, this paragraph sounds really corny. But it's true, and I'm about to give some examples.)
Example - during the army I learnt about all the best pubs in Tel Aviv. That doesn't mean I'm going to go there and get piss drunk and have sex and do drugs and eat cheesburgers every Friday night. Ok, the list I just gave is about all the bad things a girl can do - at least in the circles that I grew up in. And I'm very glad I grew up in these circles. I also learnt, however, that for many people - very good and wonderful people - that is exactly their Friday night schedule, because that's what you do on weekends (generally minus the drugs, because those are illegal). So I learnt some very valuable lessons - you know how we're taught to accept people? - well now I can do it in practice :)
Example 2 - I learnt some pretty good (and very creative) curses. I also learnt that people who use these curses are well-aware that they are curses, and they turn to me (as the religious POC) and apologize for cursing. In effect, this is how I am reminded not to use these words :) And when you know that it's rude, you don't curse. So this isn't really the slope either.
((I'm adding a paragraph about halacha, just because I think it's important. It doesn't need to be read, it just has to be here, cool?
Kashrut - not a problem in the army, because all the kitchens have to be kosher. You just have to ask your friends not to bring chametz on pesach, and you can't really use the microwave in the office with your food uncovered. If you go out with friends, go online and check for kosher resturaunts in the area. Otherwise just get a coffee (coffee is coffee no matter where you are :).
Tfila - you can ask to daven three times a day. In fact, you could probably ask for five times a day, but then you wouldn't really be a good Jewish girl, either :). They have to give you time. Once you're in a position that you can take breaks whenever you want, it's up to you. I, for instance, figure that I take a break for mincha once I reach the point of day when I start going crazy from sitting in front of the computer all the time...
Shabbat - the IDF, being the army of a Jewish state, cannot order a soldier to do melacha on shabbat, unless it's for operational / security purposes. And even then, you learn what you can and can't do. Leave the comouter on before shabbat so you don't have to turn it on; you can type, but save only if the information will get lost otherwise; make phone calls if they can't be pushed off; send work-related e-mails if the receiver is also in the office - if they won't be there until Sunday, wait until after shabbat; do any work you have to in order for the most accurate information to reach the relevant people on time, because that's what you're there for.
Kli Gever - this one's a little tricky, because during basic training when your uniform is baggy and you're carrying a weapon, everybody looks the same. Well, for the time being, girls shoes are not identical to boys shoes, and girls can wear jewelery and grow their hair long. Take advantage of this and look feminine, if only because you can :). ))
So where's the problem with the army?
This is the way I see it. Not everyone will agree. But some will.
Situation #1 - I have kitchen duty tomorrow. That means that by 10:00 today I have to call the poor girl who's in charge of kitchen duty on the base and tell her that I'm aware that I have kitchen duty. I forgot to call. Well, I didn't actually forget - I had a reminder pop up on my screen, but I snoozed it because I was in the middle of something. Now it's 10:05. I could get into trouble for this, being the army and all.. So I let out an "oh, crap", and my friends' automatic reaction is "say you were in a shift"; "say you live far away and you just got here"; "say you didn't know"; etc. Basically, you're encouraged to lie. It's natural, how else will you stay out of trouble? It becomes automatic, "say you forgot", "say you lost it", "say you have an appointment", "say..."... You get used to it, it's a slope. You start thinking that lying is ok. That's where you have to step back and remind yourself that this is not the way things are supposed to be.
Situation #2 - I'm working with someone. Actually, not with - opposite. The difference is that they're in a different office. We don't have the same job - so we're in a position that we have to join efforts in order to accomplish the work. This means that we each have our own training and different instructions - and we have to coordinate, because otherwise we can't move forward. The problem? We're each sure that we know the best way to work. It makes it really difficult to work with people sometimes. The natural reaction is to whisper to the friend sitting next to you "uch, I can't stand working with her!", and your friend, being a good friend, answers "yeah, I know, she's terrible!". Or maybe I'm working under someone. She never makes mistakes, ever. And she knows it. And you bash her behind her back, because you could never insult her to her face. And you get used to talking about people behind their backs, and insulting them, and making sure other people know that certain people are a pain-in-the-posterior. Personally, I always tried to be careful with what I said. I'm a big believer that lashon hara kills. But of course, you get used to it. It's another situation where you have to step back and remind yourself what values are important.
Basically, the problems that I've been experiencing in the army are lies and gossip. Yes, those are meaningful issues. So that's what I have to pay attention to this coming year. There's more, probably, but these really are the most significant things.
And for the record, I'm really happy I decided to join the IDF after all :)
:)
In light of Yom Kippur and the new year and all that jazz... I was thinking about where my service has taken me as a person. Or where it takes people in general.
ok, I'm going to DIG in a big way, but whatever, I'm really just writing for me :)
When people talk about the army, or rather, religious girls joining the IDF as their national service, many say it's not a good idea. The army is basically a downhill slope, you're around people who lead a different lifestyle.. Things that are taboo become ok... You have to take orders from boys... wear pants... But you know what, if you know who you are and what your limits are, the army is just like any framework you're going to meet in life. A girl can do plenty of stupid things no matter where she is. That's not where the slope is. (Yeah, this paragraph sounds really corny. But it's true, and I'm about to give some examples.)
Example - during the army I learnt about all the best pubs in Tel Aviv. That doesn't mean I'm going to go there and get piss drunk and have sex and do drugs and eat cheesburgers every Friday night. Ok, the list I just gave is about all the bad things a girl can do - at least in the circles that I grew up in. And I'm very glad I grew up in these circles. I also learnt, however, that for many people - very good and wonderful people - that is exactly their Friday night schedule, because that's what you do on weekends (generally minus the drugs, because those are illegal). So I learnt some very valuable lessons - you know how we're taught to accept people? - well now I can do it in practice :)
Example 2 - I learnt some pretty good (and very creative) curses. I also learnt that people who use these curses are well-aware that they are curses, and they turn to me (as the religious POC) and apologize for cursing. In effect, this is how I am reminded not to use these words :) And when you know that it's rude, you don't curse. So this isn't really the slope either.
((I'm adding a paragraph about halacha, just because I think it's important. It doesn't need to be read, it just has to be here, cool?
Kashrut - not a problem in the army, because all the kitchens have to be kosher. You just have to ask your friends not to bring chametz on pesach, and you can't really use the microwave in the office with your food uncovered. If you go out with friends, go online and check for kosher resturaunts in the area. Otherwise just get a coffee (coffee is coffee no matter where you are :).
Tfila - you can ask to daven three times a day. In fact, you could probably ask for five times a day, but then you wouldn't really be a good Jewish girl, either :). They have to give you time. Once you're in a position that you can take breaks whenever you want, it's up to you. I, for instance, figure that I take a break for mincha once I reach the point of day when I start going crazy from sitting in front of the computer all the time...
Shabbat - the IDF, being the army of a Jewish state, cannot order a soldier to do melacha on shabbat, unless it's for operational / security purposes. And even then, you learn what you can and can't do. Leave the comouter on before shabbat so you don't have to turn it on; you can type, but save only if the information will get lost otherwise; make phone calls if they can't be pushed off; send work-related e-mails if the receiver is also in the office - if they won't be there until Sunday, wait until after shabbat; do any work you have to in order for the most accurate information to reach the relevant people on time, because that's what you're there for.
Kli Gever - this one's a little tricky, because during basic training when your uniform is baggy and you're carrying a weapon, everybody looks the same. Well, for the time being, girls shoes are not identical to boys shoes, and girls can wear jewelery and grow their hair long. Take advantage of this and look feminine, if only because you can :). ))
So where's the problem with the army?
This is the way I see it. Not everyone will agree. But some will.
Situation #1 - I have kitchen duty tomorrow. That means that by 10:00 today I have to call the poor girl who's in charge of kitchen duty on the base and tell her that I'm aware that I have kitchen duty. I forgot to call. Well, I didn't actually forget - I had a reminder pop up on my screen, but I snoozed it because I was in the middle of something. Now it's 10:05. I could get into trouble for this, being the army and all.. So I let out an "oh, crap", and my friends' automatic reaction is "say you were in a shift"; "say you live far away and you just got here"; "say you didn't know"; etc. Basically, you're encouraged to lie. It's natural, how else will you stay out of trouble? It becomes automatic, "say you forgot", "say you lost it", "say you have an appointment", "say..."... You get used to it, it's a slope. You start thinking that lying is ok. That's where you have to step back and remind yourself that this is not the way things are supposed to be.
Situation #2 - I'm working with someone. Actually, not with - opposite. The difference is that they're in a different office. We don't have the same job - so we're in a position that we have to join efforts in order to accomplish the work. This means that we each have our own training and different instructions - and we have to coordinate, because otherwise we can't move forward. The problem? We're each sure that we know the best way to work. It makes it really difficult to work with people sometimes. The natural reaction is to whisper to the friend sitting next to you "uch, I can't stand working with her!", and your friend, being a good friend, answers "yeah, I know, she's terrible!". Or maybe I'm working under someone. She never makes mistakes, ever. And she knows it. And you bash her behind her back, because you could never insult her to her face. And you get used to talking about people behind their backs, and insulting them, and making sure other people know that certain people are a pain-in-the-posterior. Personally, I always tried to be careful with what I said. I'm a big believer that lashon hara kills. But of course, you get used to it. It's another situation where you have to step back and remind yourself what values are important.
Basically, the problems that I've been experiencing in the army are lies and gossip. Yes, those are meaningful issues. So that's what I have to pay attention to this coming year. There's more, probably, but these really are the most significant things.
And for the record, I'm really happy I decided to join the IDF after all :)
posted by Leenie ;-) at 3:09 pm
2 Comments:
I really like this post- written really nicely and bringing out all the important points. You also got me thinking.
With regard to girls in the army- hope you don't hate me for playing devil's advocate, but just for the sake of argument:
There are people who say girls shouldn't do things like shmirah because halachikally and historically through the tanach we aren't allowed to fight in war/ hold or use a gun.
Also, something I've been thinking about a lot lately is how hard society has made it for us to NOT accept people. (I might get carried away and confusing with this, try to bear with me): in midrasha last year one thing we talked a lot about is how the Jewish people are actually meant to be the leaders of the rest of all the other nations. How we are actually on a higher level than the rest of them. How, though we may appear the same, we really have some extra inner-power or quality that they are missing.
The problem with today's society is that it is ruled by democracy, and people automatically say "What do you mean we're better than them? we can't say that, it's politically incorrect. We're all equal."
Yeah. So people might bite my head off for saying this, but I think that that idea of equal is wrong.
The Jewish people were born into this nation for a reason. And though we can't see any physical differences, we ARE on a higher level than the rest of the world, we DO possess some inner quality that we can't fully understand, and without the Jewish people the world wouldn't be able to exist- because the right spiritual connection wouldn't exist in the world.
With all that inner power/ spirituality comes a responsibility that falls on the Jewish nation as a whole and on Jewish people as individuals. A responsibility that is unique to the Jewish people, almost the way privileges come with added responsibilities. Being Jewish (for me at least) is a privilege.
I think that in general all Jews, religious and non-religious- especially in Israel- do a pretty good job fulfilling their end of the bargain, their responsibility, each person doing it in their own way. The most important thing, in my opinion, is being a good person and not dissing other people because they think differently than you.
But that doesn't mean you have to agree with them.
In fact, you can even think that they're wrong. As long as you make sure you're a good person and don't offer you'r opinion unless it's wanted. And remember that while you might think they're wrong- what you think doesn't really matter. What somebody else does is usually just between him and G-d. It doesn't affect you. And only G-d has a right to decide for sure that it's wrong.
THAT I think, is the problem in our culture- that the democratic society we live in encourages everyone to accept each other and not be judgmental. The ideal is actually kind of difficult, a thin line between accepting and being a good person, but still being consciously aware that you don't agree with the way somebody else acts or lives. And not only that you don't agree with it- but that you think it's WRONG.
One of my problems for a long time was that even if I didn't agree with somebody, I would make excuses for them in my head. I would try to explain to myself why it was right. But I'm allowed- even obligated- to admit to myself that it's wrong if I believe that it is. And it doesn't make me a judgmental person. It just makes sure that I won't accidentally slip into something I believe is wrong and repeat what I see as other people's mistakes because I'm so busy making excuses for somebody else and trying to accept them as equal. And I think that that is the big problem in the army, the thing we have to watch out even more there than anywhere else for. Especially because everybody really DOES get treated like equals. (Correct me if I'm wrong about this; I've never actually been in the army from the insiders perspective).
I think that the army can be the right place for religious girls with the right personality. But I also think such a girl has to be really careful and 100% aware- of herself, the reasons she's there and the areas where she needs to make sure that she WON'T change or be influenced.
Hope this whole thing isn't longer than your original post. If it is- I didn't mean it, promise :)
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